My Darlings ... for the next three weeks, I will be posting nice little spells for you to use to improve your life all in honour of the US release on March 27, 2012 (and Canadian paperback, April 10) of my beautiful new novel THE THIRTEEN.
Enjoy, and of course, it's all in the name of Entertainment ... or is it?
Enjoy, and of course, it's all in the name of Entertainment ... or is it?
The Use of Everyday Materials
In Common Spells
From the Big Book of Spells Ladies of Haven Wood
Today’s spell is From the section entitled Health and Beauty
Was it Scarlett O’Hara’s mother who said, “You can always tell a lady by her hands …?” This is just as true now as it was after the Civil War.
The Ladies of Haven Wood have a certain standard of beauty that must be kept high. We pride ourselves on always looking perfectly put together, whatever our fashion sense. (For instance, no one has ever prevented Glory from wearing florals, in spite of the fact that they DO NOT flatter her figure).
That said, well-tended fingernails are an essential.
They should be long. And sharp.
Spell for Long Nails
Also known as: Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.
You will need:
· A few hairs from a cat—your own is best, and keep your mind out of the gutter; we are ladies.
· A yellow candle—made from tarrow is best, but unless you’re making those yourself, and who has the time? Find a reasonable substitute.
· Photo of an irritation—the person in front of you on the cell phone, speaking unfashionably loudly, for instance, or a vid cap from a car commercial.
· A droplet of blood—best not your own, but someone who needs a good … blooding.
This is a ladie’s room spell. Take your treasures into your personal freshening room, preferably in a glass bowl. I use a Pyrex, the 4-qt, clear glass with the lid. It’s fabulous! I got it at Lakewood Mall before it had its … situation. I bet use it every other day for bread, cakes, little fires—I swear, Pyrex is the new cauldron!
The Spell
In your lady’s quarters, dim the lights. Photo of the irritation goes on the bottom of the bowl, image upright. Drop each ingredient on to the photo separately, imaging how deep your nails to could sink into the flesh of the irritation, how quiet they would become (after screaming).
Light your candle. Allow 10 drops of wax to hit your lovely mixture at the bottom of the (fireproof) bowl, one for each, lovely, fingernail.
As each bit of wax hits its mark, sing-song, happily:
“Ten little fingers, each so sweet/nails that kill, so very neat”
When this is complete, set fire to the photo, and all will burn. Watch the flames and while it all turns to ash, think CAT.
Remember to smile. It confuses people.
Oh look at my nails … rowr. And I don’t mean “Meow.”
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