Sunday, May 30, 2010

Sweet Salvation.

Apparently Jupiter is in Your Anus or something and this is making the universe all drunk and horny and she's peering around the world one-eyed and giggling, handing out favours like ... well like a horny drunk.

So, the long-awaited opportunity has arrived and I am being PAID to write the screenplay adaptation of my favourite novel, "The Dwelling."

I'm on my knees for that drunken universe, and absolutely I mean I'm on my knees. Whatever you want, baby, I'm your bitch.

This isn't the first time I've offered the Universe a deep-throat for some kind of break in the dismal clouds that were my horizon over the last five years. I've been on my knees at the slightest glance for a long time. Now she's turned her drunken-coyote-ugly face my way and I'm grateful in a way that no sex-metaphor can really cover, although I'll try to think of some.

And this break has been years in coming. I started talking to the producer about The Dwelling no less than four years ago. Now? Now? How about now? I'll point out that Million Dollar Baby was ten years in development. I'm winning.

The Dwelling, for all its under-rated status in the pulp fiction world, is a very good book. It got great reviews for the most part, and there are some folks out there who have put it on some very nice lists. It's frankly my best work. I hope it won't always be, that there's more where that came from, and I like to think that this next step is proof of that, that the Fickle Bitch who decides these things from whatever casino is serving free appletinis in the sky, has decided that I can take a couple of steps forward for a change.

I'm going to write an AWESOME movie. Let me tell you, I have to.

I haven't felt so much like a writer in the last five years as I have felt like a ping-pong ball bouncing from one bad idea to the next. I was listening to the bad side. Not the happy-drunk-let's-go-dancing guy, but the angry-drunken-let's-cut-our-own-hair-and-eat-Doritos-call-up-old-boyfriends guy.

New phase starts now.

I also don't know why I'm comparing all of this to sex, but there's something very sexy about winning and I have a feeling the MennoKnight might be walking funny this week.

I'm taking 10,000 steps forward this week. It's gotta take a long time to go backwards from that. Even for me.

I'm your bitch, Universe. Be kind.

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