I'm Going to Need a Drink After This ...

Sweet Salvation. Apparently Jupiter is in Your Anus or something and this is making the universe all drunk and horny and she's peering around the world one-eyed and giggling, handing out favours like ... well like a horny drunk. So, the long-awaited opportunity has arrived and I am being PAID to write the screenplay adaptation of my favourite novel, "The Dwelling." I'm on my knees for that drunken universe, and absolutely I mean I'm on my knees. Whatever you want, baby, I'm your bitch. This isn't the first time I've offered the Universe a deep-throat for some kind of break in the dismal clouds that were my horizon over the last five years. I've been on my knees at the slightest glance for a long time. Now she's turned her drunken-coyote-ugly face my way and I'm grateful in a way that no sex-metaphor can really cover, although I'll try to think of some. And this break has been years in coming. I started talking to the producer about The ...

I'm in New York these days, spending some time with my MennoKnight. New York's amazing, not just for the street dogs and bagels, or the cheap wine at the corner store, but also because you see the odd famous face. It's like being in a moovie. I read this thing once when I was doing a little research for my haunted house novel, "The Dwelling." I read that ghosts will often make their presence known in a mirror. The book was written and published and I don't think I even used the mirror thing, but I never forgot it and I don't look in the mirror in the middle of the night when I get up to use the facilities. Call me careful. So last night I woke up in the night and stumbled to the bathroom to powder my nose, right? When I was washing my hands I accidentally, for the first time ever, glanced in the mirror, in the dark ... First thought: ACK! Followed by a quick look away. Second thought: Hey, what if it's someone famous? Still wasn't enough to make me...

"A Dry Spell" has been optioned by Los Angeles company, Affirmative Entertainment. Cool fact: the producer is the same guy who acquired it for Cruise-Wagner, back in the day. "The Dwelling" has been optioned by Eagle Vision in Canada. Cool fact: I'm writing the first draft of the screenplay. Fools. My new novel, a witch-thing, will be available in Canada in spring 2011, from Random House. A US date is not yet set, but keep eating. Cool fact: My boyfriend named it. I am writing 13, one-minute bits on animals and creatures for a new kids' show, shooting in July. The star attached is world famous, wildly talented, heart-throb Michael Moloney. Cool fact: Michael Moloney is my son.